Oh, the dreaded Bacchus
Feast. Yep, all you farmers and
cowpokes really thought this was the deal.
The truth of the matter lies somewhere in the fact that underpaid
wait-people, such as Yours Truly, had to drop everything we were doing
and go sing and chant and act excited about the food YOU were going to
eat.
Leader: I don't know but I've been told
Group: He don't know but he's been told
Leader: Bacchus Feast is good as gold
Group: Bacchus Feast is good as gold
Leader: I don't know but I have found
Group: He don't know but he has found
Leader: Bacchus Feast is the best in town / best around (or,
of course: Scottie's pants are coming down, etc.)
Leader: Sound Off
Group: Bacchus Feast
Leader: One more time
Group: Bacchus Feast
Chorus
Oo Oo, Ah Ah
Umgawa
Bacchus Feast
Get a little louder
(repeat gradually from a whisper to a roar)
Chorus
Oo Oo, Ah Ah
Umgawa
Bacchus Feast
Get a little softer
(repeat gradually from a roar to a whisper)
Chorus
Hey Hey
What do you say
We got a Bacchus Feast today
(repeat ad nauseum)
Chorus
Sung a la "When The Saints Go Marching In"
Oh when the feast
Goes marching on
Oh when the feast goes marching on
How I want to be on that platter
When the feast goes marching on.
(note to self: get to the table fast on this one, and you won't have to
repeat it)
Chorus
(This song became a reality for Nick "The Lick" Randall (Hobbit), when
he WAS actually served to a table as a Bacchus Feast)
Bacchus Feast
Bring on the beast
Gotta Bacchus Feast
Bring on the beast
(repeat and repeat and repeat...)
Chorus
Fee Fi
Fo Fum
Bacchus Feast here we come
(yes, it was almost that bad...again, repeat and repeat)
Chorus
Bacchus
Feast variations
Speedway
Feast - Run - as
in SPRINT - as fast as you could to a table. This
was
pretty ridiculous, as half the group couldn't keep up, and there was no
time for a chant.
Disco Feast - Carry the Bacchus Feast through the Disco to try to drum
up interest for all those low-lifes in the bar who had been waiting two
hours for a table in the restaurant.
Optional: Drop Feast on
dance floor.
Kettle Feast - Carry the Bacchus Feast through The Kettle restaurant
next door.
Bonus: Piss off Kettle
management.
Birthday
Songs
Country Western Birthday
We heard it was your birthday
We cannot tell a lie
So take your little cupcake
And hold it way up high
We hope you have enjoyed us
And please come back again
We wish you Happy Birthday
(last phrase sung by a "chosen" character in a Bullwinkle
impersonation:) From all your Birthday Friends!
At this point everybody repeats a verse singing like a banjo - no
words......ummm.....how do I explain this? It sounds like the
ending of The Beverly Hillbillies.
Rock and Roll Birthday - sung a la Beatles' "Today Is Your Birthday"
Group: Na na na na na na
Chosen Character: You say it's your birthday
Group: Na na na na na na
Chosen: It's my birthday too, yeah
Group: Na na na na na na
Chosen: You say it's your birthday
Group: Na na na na na na
Chosen: We're gonna have a good time
Group: Na na na na na na
Chosen: So now it's your birthday
Group: Na na na na na na
Chosen: Happy Birthday to you!
Snappy Happy ( a variation on the Beatle's birthday above - when there
are serious time constrants, or you just plain don't like the people)
Sung FAST.
Today is your Birthday,
It's my Birthday too, yeah,
Today is your Birthday,
We're gonna have a good time,
So now it's your Birthday,
Happy Birthday to you.
Hoo-freakin'- ray.
Have A Happy - to the melody of "I'm A Yankee Doodle Dandy"
Have a Happy, Happy Birthday,
We hope that nothing will go wrong,
You've been alive for another year,
How could you stand it so long?
This cake is for your Happy Birthday,
We baked it/stole it special just for you,
We are here to celebrate another Happy Birthday,
It's fun to celebrate with you
(I prefer this song as an anniversary song - see below)