Molly Murphy's Characters & Costumes Stories



Ok...I was tired of working the door in the freezing cold with nothing more than tights and a satin cape to keep me warm. So I took my chances as a bar-back...being straight, and wearing possibly the gayest costume in the building. Dave Eagle made my "Boy Wonder" costume and I bought flesh colored tights. I also bought a dance belt to go with it...but it didn't come with instructions.

I bar-backed for about two weeks, then one night Jeff Scott (Underdog) pulled me aside with a sly grin and asked if I was stuffing a sock in my pants. He said it was widely observed that I had "no bulge in my Bat Panties"...and then VOOM! (His word, not mine)

I told him I had just seen "Flashdance" and noticed in the ballet scene that I had been wearing the dance belt the wrong way around. Since most mens underwear is worn with the thin side in front,thats how I wore the dance belt. But it wasn't comfortable. In fact, it was real uncomfortable. A dance belt is a lot like a thong for men, and for weeks I had been tucking everything under a one inch strip of cloth. Ever try stocking bar glasses or dancing with your "stuff" shoved down between your thighs? It ain't fun.

Jeff could not stop laughing. I was much happier with my new found freedom and eventually worked my way up to "host."

And that's how the "Bat Bulge" was born.     - Chip Burch
I remember a group of people laughing and saying, "This place is great, they'll let you do anything!" and my reply in Raggedy Ann's little girl voice was, "Oh, no, they won't let you fornicate under the table." They just burst out laughing...little did they know...tee hee.

Out at Dottie's place, Cindy reminded me of a statement that I told a customer that was hitting on me when he asked if I wanted to go out with him. In my very best Liza Do Alot, I told him I'd go out with him if he was..."twenty years younger, good lookin' and rich." Cindy liked it. I'd have to say that's probably the worst burn I've ever come up with.     - Denise Harris

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I have one funny memory involving the Pirate. [Ron  Heatly]

I was waiting on the two top just up the stairs, towards the back I think, don’t remember the table number [12], anyway, I ran up to the table, yellow cape flying and when I grabbed the top of the chair the lady, probably mid twenties with her boyfriend, fell out onto her knees laughing uncontrollably.I am standing there with her head about waste high and the pirate in his best timing “Argh, hey lady while you’re down there.”  She immediately stopped laughing and her boyfriend bust up laughing, and I am standing there like my super “kid” super hero self and I said “Holy blow Job Pirate that’s only for Batman.”  And everyone started laughing again.
I quickly ran off.     - Pat Berglund 

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Shorttimer WA Pedro the Wetback:   "PEDRO DON'T KNOW" was his response to everything.

........problem was, it was the ONLY line he had. I think he lasted all of two weeks, maybe a month.
All night long:
"PEDRO DON'T KNOW"
"PEDRO DON'T KNOW"
"PEDRO DON'T KNOW"
"PEDRO DON'T KNOW"
"PEDRO DON'T KNOW"
"PEDRO DON'T KNOW"     - Craig Alleman



One of my lines was..... if some wonderful customer happened to leave the tip plate empty.... I would yell across the restaurant as they were leaving...HEY MISTER.... I DON'T GIVE MY COOKIES AWAY FOR FREE!

The main thing I had to hear every single night and act like I heard it for the first time from every customer was.... You know how a cub scout becomes a boy scout? Gee no mister tell me I'd reply. When he eats his first brownie. They they would burst out laughing... EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I'd just say... Gee Mithter... I don't get it. Show me what your talking about.

Then there would be the wonderful pigeon story. I would tell a story about camping out in the woods when a was putting the butter and sour cream on their potatos and as I would put the sour cream on... I would say... then all of a sudden this big flock of pigeons flew over and I would dump a pound of sour cream all over their potato their late etc... and then say eat up. Looks like the pigeon poo.

How about those lame camp fires on table 4. I would give everyone a scewer ( spelled wrong, but it's 4 in the morning.. give me a break), use a candle from what we used for the lobster butter. Give everyone a marshmellow. Crawl in the middle of the table and sing those stupid campfire songs while we had a little campfire.

Does everyone remember live lobster night.. when Dave Eagle chased me with the live lobster and its claw got loose from the rubber band and attached itself to my arm. OUCH. It did bring tears to my eyes but I played it.. so I crawled under someones table and acted like I was crying. Dave replied... little girl come out from under the table I just saw a spider under there... I replied with... I don't care.. at least it'll be my friend and not attach a lobster to my arm. He was stiffed that whole turn because everyone thought I was really crying. When I was under the table I was playing with the mans leg.     - Dottie Pearson
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