June 2010
Barbra is welcome to ride along in the truck.  * * * There are a couple attitude-traps I am well aware of, and I am the kind of person who falls into them regularly. 1. I spend a lot of time and thought preparing, planning, daydreaming about a goal - and my brain begins to accept I have already experienced, even completed the task. 2. I forget to live now. We are all guilty of these - any psycho, logical professional can tell you that much. Especially #2. I find myself in the awkward position of not having much time to commit to composing and photography, and knowing all this extra time will be at my fingertips in a couple years. So I say, "I can't wait to sit down at the keyboard and write some new stuff. I can't wait to get back on the bass again. I can't wait, I can't wait...." Have I even attempted to get back on the bass lately? Not really, because I'm saving that experience for later. I have a plan for that. See the danger in this? This kind of thinking must change. I am a bass player now. I am a photographer now, and a composer now. Don't forget to live now, too. As for item #1 above......I wonder if other people deal with this as much as me. One of the reasons I've never done a lot of recording of my own music is I'm simply done with it. Once I work on something in my head, I'm through. Laboring for hours and hours just to get it on tape has never interested me. I know, that's so anti-musician, right? I guess I need to develop a bigger ego about these things. Sure, I want my stuff to be heard, but even more important to me is that it be played. Wow. That's it! I just discovered something there. I don't write for the listener, I write for the performer. God, that is so true. I'll have to explore this concept. Anyway, I wish I could explain, but it's one of my little hangups......ehhh.....nuances. * * * Cloak & goggles for Burning Man have arrived.  I also have a full-scale heavy tweed monk robe coming. Much too hot for Burning Man by day, but it may be perfect for an all-nighter when the temperatures dip.  Still not sure what my normal look(s) will be, but at least I've got a few cool options to work with. I think I've come up with some decent gift ideas too - Burning Man is all about participation and giving; nothing is bought or sold. And I'm not going to just show up with nothing to exchange! I'll post samples shortly if the idea works. * * * Got rid of a boxing swivel bag, a dehumidifier, and a big road case that travelled with Bonnie Raitt on the Green Highway tour. I wish I had the energy to list everything in the house, but when I get home from work, or have weekends off, I'm absolutely beat and head straight for bed after an hour of internet tv on hulu.com. I suppose all the energy is drained from working so much. I can handle that in 2010. But I really need to start tapering down the work-time in 2011 and focus on myself, and my house-and-things for sale. I've been much more active, per my previously noted commitment to 1-hour-daily-activity - I regularly "fast walk" five miles 3-4 times a week. Not racewalking form yet, just walking very very fast, and getting my cardio and legs back into shape. I'm also starting to work a little weight training back into the routine. Not every day, mind you, but just sliding it in. Why does this need mentioning in these pages? Well, this whole journey is about preparation, and it ain't all truck. There are finances to prepare, and mind, and body. My mind is preparing for this every day on some level. In fact, I don't know how I can go two more years waiting and prepping; my mind is so ready to roll. As for body - I've got to be in the best physical shape I can be, when this all goes down. There will be a lot of free time on my hands, and staying active will be a priority, or the truck just becomes another prison. Just think about having the whole day, every day, to pursue life on your terms! I guess, that's what Retirement is for most of us North Americans, right? Sleep, create, explore, play....even get a job - whenever you want. Sad, that this is the model for Retirement, and not Life. You know what I mean. I am officially removing the word "Retirement" from my goals-vocabulary, and focusing on Living instead. Let people debate whether I retired at 52, or began living at 52. Anyway.......healthwise........got to be able to commit to a five-mile health walk every day, if not ten. Getting out of the truck and seeing the sights is crucial, and as I (and many) have said countless times, you never get to really know a city until you've walked it. Speaking of the truck, I should be able to finish installing the floor this weekend off. And once the floor is in, I may move in for the remainder of Summer. I need lots of time inside to figure out necesseties and layout. * * * Argghh. Remember the Guthrie property I bought in April? The little corner lot that was out of the way of the world, and wasn't bothering anybody? Well, Guthrie decided to become crazy proactive with all their citizens and properties and initiated a huge "mowing ordinance" this month - something they never had bothered with before. So I get this letter telling me I have to mow the property or take on outrageous fines PLUS pay the city to mow it. I made calls, I pleaded with municipal workers, and I guess I can say I got a little bit of a break. I have made an arrangement whereby I will donate my parcel of land to a charity that provides homesteads for farmer-types who prove themselves worthy, but can't afford their own homestead. Not the greatest thing for me, but it's the only way out. The fines could get really stupid. So I lose a property, and learn a lesson - buy no cleared property remotely near a residential area! Even though this one had no prior ordinance - as I made sure - they slapped one on. I love my timing. And get this - the property wasn't 14.5-feet wide, it was a regular lot, like 50- or 60-feet. No matter. In the end, I've done some good for somebody. And I'll get a little tax break from the donation. Still.......argghh. July 2010 A Couple New Poems |